Now, we all know that Easter is all about Jesus dying and then coming back as a zombie and killing all the Romans by eating their brians. Shame they didnt have shotguns back then huh?
Anyways, I want to know.. and please, somebody please.. explain to me how it turned into a festival of chocolate eggs and bunnies. I mean.. sure.. pagans recognised eggs as a symbol of birth, and then Christians stole it, like they did pretty much every other pagan idea, and used eggs to represent the rebirth of Jesus... As for bunnies.. well.. we all know bunnies are awesomely cute and they seem to appear magically in spring, but then frankly, when isnt a good time of year to cuddle a bunny?
But.. come on.. chocolate?
Like.. maybe I am just jealous cos I didn't get any eggs this year and have to wait to get some in a couple of days time when they all cheap, cos apparently egg-shaped chocolate is like.. dodgy after Easter.. or something.
I'm not religious, in fact, I am pretty much an atheist in terms of a classical view of God and Jesus and the Bible.. its just a book.. Imagine The House At Pooh Corner was written by lots of different authors (not just A.A. Milne) and then a hundred years later some dudes hold aloft a copy of The Pooh Book and said "This is God's instructions for all of us. Oh and by the way, we're the only ones who can read it so do what we tell you" and like.. thats the Bible. Except we'd all worship a big pot of honey.. yum.. Now.. if I had a time machine... >:D
I guess I'm trying to say.. people forget the point in things. Its like Christmas, Halloween, all these holidays... people get carried away with the bullshit and forget what they're really about.
Like this post. >_>
I got carried away. I was just gonna put a link to this on here and ask how long you think it'd take you to eat it? It's chocolate, by the way.. 1,950kg (or 4,299 lbs) of it. Please remember, 22lbs in like.. i dunno.. a day or something... is the lethal dose for a human. Dont attempt anything crazy here, people.
Assuming you ate 11lbs in one day (to avoid totally dying) and then took a day off to recover (i.e. go to the hospital) and then went and ate 11lbs and then took a day off and so on, it'd take a total of 781 days to eat it all. If you share it out with your family, lets say, there are four of you total, its still gonna take 195 days to finish, with that same pattern of one day eating, one day puking.
Is there a point to making a 1,950kg chocolate egg? Maybe.. they wanted to celebrate Jesus and stuff by producing an egg so big only God himself could have laid it. Thats probably it. Right?
Have a very happy Easter holiday, guys.
Esmie xXx
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The Church co-opted the pagan spring festival of fertility. Hence eggs and bunnies. Just like Christmas falls at the darkest time of the year when they would celebrate midwinter by lighting lots of lamps and or candles. It goes on and on .. but when you are trying to dominate the religious world it is easier to use existing celebrations and subtly alter them for your owm nefarious purposes.
Yeah, the whole stealing of pagan things is well known, and the source of much amusement for me, but my main question is...
Why chocolate??? D:
Why Chocolate? Because its like a legalized form of crack to 99.997% of the population (all statistics are usually made up on the spot 99% of the time - like this). And its yummy. And people secretly want to bite the heads off bunnies. Or their tails. Or, other oral and anal fixations that your imagination can conjure.
Personally, I like to stick my *censored* in the chocolate's warm, soft *censored* and *censored* it about a bit before *censored* all over it and then swallowing.
poor.. poor bunnys.....
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