Tuesday, 29 January 2008

Quality Control

I've been sitting here for about ten minutes now, watching the 'Logging in. Second Life may appear frozen. Please Wait' screen while I wait to log in. Its definitely not frozen .. and omg right then it just said something unexpected has gone wrong. *Tries again*

The client I am using at the moment is an fairly old version of the standard one and it seems to run a shitload better than some of the new ones. I have been mightily pissed off recently at the quality of the new clients LL have been crapping out, especially the most recent Windlight one. If you hadn't noticed the bug that allows you to see invisible-scripted objects - such as hidden poseballs, particle emitters and genitals - then I guess you must be a Linden :) I want to know HOW THE FUCK THEY DIDNT SPOT THIS?! Talk about quality control.. sheesh! What a load of bullshit. The little poll they had on the login screen 'Is your SL experience getting better or worse?', I wonder how many people said Better. Interesting how they haven't published any results from that yet, eh?

I'm still waiting for SL to log me in. I think this is the fourth time. This hasnt happened in a while and I guess it must be partly due to the server upgrades going on or something, but there are more than 40,000 people online, why can't I join them?!

So, I have made the next poll about the quality of our second lives and whether we generally agree that things have got a whole lot worse recently. I dont think it takes much explanation.
Hopefully I'll see you inworld sometime soon ;)

Well I was gonna make a poll.. but I get a 404 Error every time I try and create one so I dunno whats goin on... Maybe its my connection being a complete bitch again >_<

Esmie xXx

Sunday, 27 January 2008

Being a Master

What difference does it make? Seeing as how we had such a close and loving relationship before the collaring, I personally didn't expect it to make much difference, either to the way I feel towards my boy or to the way we live together. How wrong I was.

To tell you the truth, it has made a massive difference and as far as I am aware, its all been totally positive and for the better. Not only does it make me kinda.. well.. very, actually.. excited to have this power over such a wonderful, obedient and faithful partner as Nicholai, but I know he also loves the submissive role, and even without using any of the power I have over him, just the kinda atmosphere and situation gives our errmm.. personal time together a little bit more excitement and hawtness.

Learning how to use the boy's collar - its an Amethyst Slim one from Sensations - has been fun too and some of the poses contained within it are extremely sexy indeed. My favourite function of it, tho, has to be the leash. Not only does it ensure the boy keeps up with me (he gets very bad lag and has difficulty just walking in a straight line sometimes) but its also incredibly hot, and it gives a real sense of ownership and belonging.

Of course, not all Masters get it right and they have to learn the limits of their slave. I've gone maybe a little too far by caging him once, that really pissed him off. I wont be doing that again *lol* Because, its not just about what the Master wants. He has to keep his slave happy and comfortable and respect their wishes and limits. Of course, being the boy's partner since last May has helped with this...

I know how alot of slaves get treated badly, and often a slave wants to be collared by their Master as a quick route to a relationship - which most often does not work. However, we've done this the other way around and it really does work. Recently, we've been exploring the sexual side of our relationship a whole lot more, admitting various kinks and fantasies to each other. We've tried shibari, the Japanese art of tying up your lover in erotic positions - I now have some amazing snapshots to adorn the dungeon wall with. We've done some exceptionally naughty RP -well, it required my character not having many morals-... that was the hottest ever, pretty much.

Just trust me on this: After admitting your fantasies, kinks and fetishes to your partner and discovering they enjoy some of them too, and they have even more exciting ones you didn't know you liked, your relationship becomes far stronger and the sex even more amazing. So I suggest you try it :P

Esmie xXx

Thursday, 24 January 2008


Well here we are. A shocking truth has been uncovered... the readers of this blog play SL more than any other kind of game... big surprise... ;D

Here's the official results. Taking my lessons from the situation in Kenya, I have 4 computers I could vote with to make sure my fave wins, I chose not to, for fear of riots and a widespread breakdown of society that this would inevitably cause. So here goes...

I don't play anything except SL - 5 Votes - 41%
Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games - 3 - 25%
Racing/Driving - 2 - 16%
First Person Shooters - 1 - 8%
Strategy - 1 - 8%
Puzzle, Text-Based Adventure, Platformer, Arcade, non-MMO RPGs, 3rd Persom Action/Adventure, Fighting - 0 - 0%

Seeing as SL is infact not a game, we can kinda take that out and view it seperately. What it basically shows us is people spend their time on SL instead of playing other games - but if you didn't have SL, would you be playing a game? Or going for a walk in the park... or whatever it is people with real lives do.

I am not surprised MMORPGs came in quite high, as I guess some people would be attracted to SL as a kinda evolution in some way of other online games - the environment and possibilities in SL cannot be ignored by anyone who is at level 70 and bored of WoW or whatever.

Driving games have always been a fave of mine. It started with Gran Turismo 3 on the PS2.. I used to spend all day driving around, not even racing, because I loved the sound of my TVR Griffith 500's engine after spending the 80,000 Cr. NA Tuning option on it. I actually loved that game, very few others have actually made me feel as awesome or emotional.. the suspense on the final lap, the elation of winning... or the utter, utter misery of crashing on the last bend of a 15 lap race and watching everyone sail past. My most recent love in the driving world has been Burnout - pretty much the opposite end of the scale from GT - and I currently have my eye on Burnout Paradise for my 360...

One racing game I do hate, however, is Project Gotham. Its too realistic and unforgiving - that just makes it hard and boring.

I was hoping First Person Shooters would come higher... these being my absolute all-time faves. I have played so many... GoldenEye, Doom 64 on the N64, Timesplitters 1-3 (Best kills without dying score on TS3: 750 or so), Black, Red Faction 1-2, Medal of Honour on the PS2, F.E.A.R., Far Cry, Prey, Battlefield 2, Quake 2 on the PC and of course Halo 1-3 on the Xboxes and I never get bored of shooting people in the face. However, there are loads I have never played - Call Of Duty, Doom 3, Bioshock and all those other awesome ones I just haven't bothered with recently. I dont know why I enjoy them so much.. I guess its partly due to the way my RL at times becomes incredibly stressful and I get angry or whatever. I have never lashed out or done anything violent in my RL towards another person, despite sometimes wishing I could, I always hold back and then take out my frustration on a virtual enemy. When people say videogames cause violence they are talking shit. I woulda probably punched or kicked alot more people in RL if I didnt have games to take out my anger on.

Strategy is my second fave, my greatest love in this genre being the Age of Empires and the Command & Conquer series. Blitzkrieg is also a very, very good game if you like killing nazis by the tankload and lets face it, who doesn't?

I have noticed recently the number of voters in my polls slipping. Whyyyy? Whats going on? *sobs* I am amazed platformers and fighting games did not get a vote and also 3rd person action - that includes GTA, guys! And Metal Gear Solid!!! How can that not be amongst the fave games of at least one person who reads this? I just dont get it...

Anyways, feel free to comment and complain about the various placings and which genre you think should be top, etc.

I am cooking up a good lil poll for the next few days, stay tuned :P

Esmie xXx

Wednesday, 23 January 2008

Massive Flickr Update!!!

For anyone who cares, here is the link to the latest batch of 11 shots from our castle. Most of the exterior is finished now and it is looking pretty damn... well just see for yourselves!

Go look now!

Details and information on each image is given just below it :)

If you'd like more details and/or info on where I bought stuff then just leave a comment either here or on the flickr page!

Esmie xXx

Monday, 21 January 2008

Just a Warning... and another thing!

Rick passed on this message to me he got today. Figured I should let you guys know, just in case it turns out to be serious. Rick has also sent a note to Shawn Mission so he will be dealing with a Group Notice soon I imagine.

[15:48] Rick Crossing: If someone by the name of Mark Genesis Gallardo (rugbylegend) wants to add you to their list, don't accept it. It's a virus. Tell everyone on your list because if somebody on your list adds them you will get it, too. It is a hard drive killer and a very horrible virus. Please pass this on to everyone on your list.

Now, Time For:

Big News!


...collared Nicholai tonight.

[14:46] You: Now, as your Master, I will expect you to be obedient. But of course, I will not make you do anything you do not wish to. Understand?

[14:46] Nicholai Heita: Yes Master

[14:49] You: I collar you not only to claim you as mine but also to let the world know that you belong to me and that you are the only one I will ever deem worthy of wearing it

[14:49] Nicholai Heita: I am very honoured Master

[14:52] Esmiel Posthorn reaches down and runs his fingers through your soft golden hair before placing the collar around your neck and locking it with a click as he says "This collar not only represents your devotion to me, but also mine to you" and he stands back to admire his boy.

[14:53] Nicholai Heita trembles softly as he feels the cool metal on his skin

[14:54] Esmiel Posthorn runs his fingers under your chin and lifts your face to look into his. "How does it feel, knowing you will never wear a collar belonging to another?"

[14:55] Nicholai Heita blushes softly and he says, "It feels wonderful my Master"

Now, this is not Gorean stuff, I wanna make that clear from the start. I detest Gor.

Nicholai remains my partner first, boy second, and the collar is mainly about giving a physical embodiment to the idea that I own both his body and heart in SL. Its also a way of being naughty and dominant over him, also giving him the attention and security he needs. It really is a wonderful feeling :)

Master Esmie xXx

Sunday, 20 January 2008

The Problems With Owning A Castle...

Firstly, the biggest obstacle is filling it. So far we have used about a third of the space and don't have any idea about what to do with the rest of it. We have a study (my personal room), the main lounge/living area/throne room, the master bedroom, a secondary Indian-themed bedroom (Nicholai's personal room), the dining room and the bathing/hot tub room. We still have one or two rooms left to fill on the first two floors and an entire floor above that to fill :O What on Earth are we gonna do with it all? Maybe a bowling lane, I dunno. We'll think of something I am sure :)

Secondly is the landscaping. You have to make the castle look as if it has been in that place for hundreds of years, never easy - especially as things in SL always seem to look so shiny and new and plain. Also, you have to make the world around it both interesting and believable. The amazing realism in the lighting and texturing of the build needs an equally stunning home and creating it is not simple.

Thirdly and perhaps the nastiest, is dealing with your own air of self-importance and curbing back your snobbishness. Sometimes I let it slip, saying something like "Oh well, your place isn't bad but maybe its a bit small compared to my castle", or... "You're a peasant! Get your filthy unwashed hands off my cape!" and I just end up sounding kinda arrogant and ridiculous. But still, I don't mean to be like that, I am merely trying to play my character, that of an incredibly handsome and athletic elven prince who rules with mercy in his heart and a twinkle in his eye. But who doesn't like being touched by peasants unless they are cleaning his boots with their tongues.

But yeah if I have offended you by calling you a dirty pleb before then I am sorry :)

Fourthly is the time the thing takes up. Hence me not posting as much on here anymore. We have been very very busy building some front steps and waterfall system, and we are very nearly done. As soon as it is, expect a huge update with pics and details and everything!

Esmie xXx

Thursday, 17 January 2008

Poll.. 6?

I think its 6... anyways, I cant think of enough contestants yet for the third round of Whats Sexiest? so here is the poll Osayo suggested :)

A quick explanation:

What is your favourite style or type of game?

MMORPG: Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games. Think World of Warcraft and Everquest and you're there. Some say SL is a MMORPG but thats bullshit.

FPS: First Person Shooters. We're talking Halo, Far Cry, FEAR, Timesplitters, Doom, Prey.

Puzzle: Anything from Tetris to Mah-Jong, Chess to those bubble-popping type games.

Text-based adventure: My roomie suggested putting this in here, just for anyone who loves the really old school stuff. I don't know any examples *lol*

Platformer: 2D and 3D so Mario, Sonic, Rayman, Earthworm Jim, Crash Bandicoot, all that stuff.

Racing/Driving: Simulation and arcade style - Gran Turismo and Project Gotham are examples of the former; Burnout, Ridge Racer are the latter. This option includes stuff like Wipeout and Kart games like Mariokart.

Arcade: By this I mean stuff like Pac-Man, or alternatively stuff like penny-drop machines and those things with the claws where you have to pick up a prize, like in an actual arcade... or pretty much any little Java/Flash game you'll find on one of those imsoboredicouldkillmyselfandeveryoneinthisbuildingsopleasegivemesomeshittodo.com websites.

non-MMO RPGs. Offline RPG games like Oblivion, Final Fantasy (most of them), you know the kinda thing.

3rd Person Action/Adventure: Where your camera points at your ass all the time, like Tomb Raider, Gears of War, Assassin's Creed etc.

I don't play anything except SL: Speaks for itself, and I am dangerously close to selecting this one.

Fighting/Beat 'em Ups: Street Fighter, Soul Calibur, Tekken, Super Smash Bros. etc. also Wrestling games.

Strategy: Real time, like Age of Empires and Command & Conquer or Turn based like that really awesome one that was out for the Game Boy whatever it was. Advance Wars or something. Also could include Tiny Empires :)

Well there are your options. It'll be interesting to see the results, and I wouldnt have thought of this one unless it was suggested, so thanks Os!

Esmie xXx

Monday, 14 January 2008

The Joys of Quantum Theory

I'm currently waiting in for the delivery of my shiny new baby and am looking over some questions due in tomorrow for my Quantum Theory module. To describe the problems as difficult and complicated is perhaps an understatement.

Firstly, I have to normalise the sci function of the variable x, and apparently I must do this by integrating the square of the modulus between the limits of negative and positive infinity. Its alot harder than it sounds, trust me, because the damn lecturer only gave us one stupid example and did not explain it to us. At the time, I thought this might be enough to get through the questions with.

The answer to the normalisation should be 1. I get ((2*(A^2))/5)*(Infinity^5) which is "2 times A squared over 5, all multiplied by infinity to the power of 5" which is fucking stupid and impossible and certainly not 1. Unless A is a ridiculous number, something like ((5/2)*Infinity^-7). Which is seriously not possible.

But looking at the example, and following through the calculation steps, I cannot see how you could possibly get anything else. I just messaged my friend asking how she was getting on with the questions and she replied, literally as I am writing this, "I can't do any of them, its awful". She's the smartest person in the class :)

After normalising 4 seperate functions, there are two further sets of questions also due in tomorrow that are quite similar yet of an even higher difficulty. I haven't really looked at those yet, for fear of having some kind of nervous breakdown or heart attack.

So I think I might be giving up on that for the time being and ask the lecturer to explain it a little more thoroughly to us and to possibly extend the deadline. This is just the beginning of the second week. By the end of week 8 either I will be in a much better position and able to understand almost everything, or I will know pretty much nothing, which is what happened last term. Here's hoping that things don't get that much more complicated :)

Esmie xXx

Friday, 11 January 2008

Well hey there...

Been a while o_o

I know some people say that after coming back to their blog after like a month or something, but for some reason, it seems a very long time since I made my last post on tuesday. Anyways, the reason I haven't been posting much this week is because I just haven't had much to say... For once!

I'm currently waiting for the new Windlight viewer to download... so glad they fixed those horrid black bands in the sky. I am also hoping that this stupid computer won't be crashing every five minutes when I use the new client... it gets very annoying, but apparently it happens quite alot to my roomie when he plays WoW on this machine too so it is most probably a fuck up somewhere in the pc, rather than the viewer.

Lucky I won't have to be using this thing much longer then.. as my new computer is being delivered on monday :D

So now I can be on as much as I like, but please, guys.. remind me to study every once in a while, I tend to forget these things quite easily. I have also been forgetting how to stay awake in lectures recently... its horrific, really. I don't feel tired or exhausted outside the lecture, but after about ten or fifteen minutes I start to blink and my eyes close and no matter what I do... take notes, slap myself, put my keys under my ass in a painful position... I nod off. I did it twice today, the first time the lecturer didn't notice.. but everyone else did. You know how sometimes when you are falling asleep how you might feel like you fall suddenly, or trip or something and then suddenly jerk awake. Well I did that, and almost fell off my chair, much to everyone's amusement.

After that, I promised myself I would not fall asleep in the next lecture, because our tutor for this one is a wierd and extremely funny Argentinian guy who likes to make everyone else in the room scared of him with witty comments and little digs and insults. I almost fell asleep - I was right on the edge - and he noticed, shouting my name and saying something about me being away with the fairies, which naturally made everyone laugh. However, I was not the only one to doze off in that period so I don't feel too bad about it. I didn't fall asleep again :)

Esmie xXx

Tuesday, 8 January 2008


Ok, well Nicholai took the stuff back.. he wasn't feeling very well all weekend so took it all back until he feels well enough to price it all up and stuff. Fair enough :) A note or IM explaining this would have been nice but it's all good now.

I got my results from my end of term exams last year... ummm not so good, really. Definitely the worst I have ever done, at anything, pretty much. I barely passed Dynamics & Spectroscopy, Electronics and Electromagnetism, but I did pass - thats what counts. I did not pass Maths, which sucks, meaning that now I have to go and re-take it in the summer sometime. However, pretty much everyone in the class did total crap on it.. the highest mark from the class was 68%, in years before it has been at least 80%. I got 22%, well below the 30% or so needed to pass, and some of my friends got less than that, so at least I am not the only one doing the retakes :)

However, now my overall qualification marks have dropped to 39%, and I need over 50 to be able to qualify for the honours degree at the end of this year.. otherwise I will end up with just an 'ordinary' degree that isn't worth the paper its written on. Or so I am told. So, this is the year I actually put some real effort in then, and prove to myself as well as my tutors and friends that I can actually do this thing! *lol* We'll see :)

Results of Poll 5!

1st: Taste - 3 votes - 33%
=2nd: Hearing - 2 - 22%
=2nd: Smell - 2 - 22%
=4th: Legs - 1 - 11%
=4th: Genitals - 1 - 11%
=6th: Sight, Touch, Arms, Emotions - 0 - 0%

Hmmm so yeah there ya go. In order to escape the room and the clutches of this rather sadistic demon, most of us would give up our sense of taste, including me. Why? Cos most food I try, I dont actually like the taste of... and the reason I eat so much junk is because it tastes good. Sooo.. by removing my sense of taste, its almost a favour to me, cos I will be able to eat more foods - including those icky, yucky vegetables - and not get cravings for sweets and naughty things like that, keeping me healthy :)

Whoever voted for genitals must come forward and please explain why, cos I am literally dying to know, as, I am sure, a few others are also.

Hearing is an interesting one... something I sure as hell could never live without. Imagine never hearing music again, never hearing the birds singing in the morning.. or never hearing your partner whisper "I love you" ever, ever again. Bet you regret voting for that now huh :P

Smell, I could live without, I suppose. But I could not live with my parents coming to my place and saying "oh my God this place stinks" and me not knowing about it cos I couldn't smell the rotting body of a mouse/cat/dog/horse behind the couch.

The next round of 'What's Sexiest?" will commence soon, I just need to think up a few more entries... feel free to make suggestions!

Esmie xXx

Monday, 7 January 2008

The Mystery Continues...

Well I haven't seen Nicholai since all that stuff vanished. In fact, the day when he was putting the stuff out was the only time I have seen him in the past week. My guess is that he took it all back into inventory during the few hours I was offline on saturday... if it was asset server problems then may God have mercy on Linden Lab's souls when I'm done with them >:/

My classes start again today so I'll be on alot less, what with my RL bf being home too, I have other things to be occupying me. But I'll try to get on every night cos I know how much you guys will miss me :P

I've bought a few pieces of furniture for the castle from Rustica, a wonderful store full of beautiful sculpty pieces including a simply mind-numbingly incredible bed that I just had to have... even if it was 1200L. Totally worth it! Plus, the owner/creator Maxwell is hilarious and a great guy from what I can see during my brief chat with him, and he really was very helpful and lovely. I'll be going back there for sure...

If you like Yaoi, check out this link... dozens of scanned and translated manga :) The only downside is the nasty ads down either side of the page but for me its worth puttin up with...


See ya after class ;)

Esmie xXx

Saturday, 5 January 2008

Once Upon a Time..

... there was an Elvish Prince named Esmiel, ruler of Beindor ("beautiful land" in English).

Showering, Elf Style

His reason for being an elf has nothing to do, I can assure you, with them being voted most sexiest in a poll on this blog, it is merely coincidence. He ruled alongside his consort, Prince Nicholai, from their castle at Aramar-En-Manmeleth (The Royal Home of Pure Love) and they were happy for many years... until one day they realised they needed some furniture for their castle... and decided that in order to clear out their store rooms and help pay for the new furnishings, they should have a...


[EDIT: Ummm everything seems to have vanished.. whether it was all sold, moved or returned I have no idea, because everything belonged to Nicholai.. ummm.. shit. The link above is no longer any use, in any case so I am removing it.. lol I wonder what the fuck is going on :)]

Esmie xXx

Thursday, 3 January 2008

Flickr Update

I just shoved a load of images detailing the progress so far (all of it done by me, cos Nicho hasn't been on for a couple of days *sniffle*) on the castle's surroundings on Flickr...

See the pics here.

Ummm other stuff...

Not alot. Stay tuned :)

Esmie xXx

Tuesday, 1 January 2008

How the hell did this happen...

What better way to start a new year than by moving into a new home?

Somehow, our new home has turned out to be this:


I still can't believe it...

But it is a fucking awesome feeling, owning a castle, complete with dungeon, secret passage and surrounding mountains, rivers, forests and caves (that I am creating). Nicholai is handling interior furniture.. I got landscaping and so far I am damn proud of my efforts. Will be uploading some pics as soon as parts are complete :)

Esmie xXx


I hope your 2008 is as awesome as it possibly can be and that you'll all still be here to read my blog in another year's time!


Esmie xXx