Monday, 31 December 2007

Poll 5.

You are trapped in a room by a demon and you will stay there for eternity unless you give him something valuable to you - coins and jewels are of no worth to evil supernatural beings. You have to choose from that list what you would surrender to him in order to escape spending all of time in a bare room, never eating, sleeping or drinking, never seeing daylight or your family and loved ones again - and never dying.

If you were to pick arms for example, they would simply vanish.. there is no painful surgery or anything here, so the process of removing a feature should not factor into your decision.

What'll it be?

You must pick one :)

Feel free to ask questions via comments if anything needs clarifying.

Esmie xXx

I'm back!... and Poll Results!

Woooohoooo! Damn, I missed SL! Feels so good to be home. Had a fabulous time in London, Christmas was really great, it always is with my family. On the way back up to Edinburgh, my Creative Zen V mp3 player ran out of battery with 4 hours of journey time left to go. I had read my magazines and books. So, I spent 4 hours watching the rain on the windows and listening to the straight couple sat behind me kissing noisily. I hope you all had a great time too, maybe you wanna share your experiences through comments on this post? I dunno, just a suggestion.

My email inbox was stuffed with Group Notices, IMs and Inventory Offers. When logging into SL, very few actually appeared, due to basically everything I owned having been returned to me by Nicholai in preparation for moving our house (or possibly buying a new one) to the super secret new place that has appeared in the CNDG continent... oooooooohhhh spooky. All those little green messages killed my IMs and Group Notices. IM capping is dangerous and annoying - any inventory offers from anything other than a fellow resident get lost - so gifts from SLexchange didn't make it through, or from vendors. But nevermind! I'm just glad to be back *lol*

So yeah, what did I miss? Anybody wanna fill me in? Was it anything, at all? I already know Hoaghes and Chester have been partnered - congrats to you cuties :) oh and that reminds me, if you haven't already, go check out the pics from the party on my Flickr page. There aren't many, but I only had time to put the best ones up there.

What to do with myself now? I have a week left until the new term starts at uni! Only a week?! Where the hell did my holiday go...

.. oh yeah, I spent two thirds of it so far in SL, by the end, it will be three quarters of my holiday having been spent in SL. Sad I know, but faced with the bitter Scottish weather and the awful, dreadful places that count as 'clubs, bars and pubs' around here combined with an absence of friends, its not hard to make a decision :)

As for the results of Round 2 of our Whats Sexiest Poll, you've been looking at them for a week so I probably dont need to go into too much detail *lol* But here they are, in order from least popular to most:

=7th: Mermen - 0 Votes - 0%
=7th: Nezumi - 0 Votes - 0%
=5th: Satyrs - 1 Vote - 5%
=5th: Dark Elves - 1 Vote - 5%
4th : Centaurs - 2 Votes - 11%
=2nd: Usagi - 3 Votes - 16%
=2nd: Tentacle Monsters - 3 Votes - 16%
1st: Elves - 8 Votes - 44%

Ok, no more humanoids in the next one. Frickin' Elves with their long golden hair, immortality and love of art, dance, music and poetry, archery and nature. Bastards! What about the poor mermen? I thought my merman avatar was very sexy... Seems I was the only one *lol*

I voted for Tentacle Monsters. Why? Because I think they are awesome and I wish there was more tentacle yaoi. Much, much more. The thing with tentacles is often they are depicted as well.. raping someone. Thats kinda ruined their image somewhat. But see.. I wouldn't mind being attacked by a seething mass of well-lubed, flexible and inquisitive appendages. It can be consensual too ya know :)

So, who/what did you guys vote for, and why? Centaurs is a surprise placing in the top half of the board, I'd like to hear some explanation for that one, please :)

I'll put up a new, more serious poll tomorrow, as a breather before next week's Whats Sexiest? Round 3. Gonna have to think long and hard for that one...

Esmie xXx

Friday, 28 December 2007

I'll be back soon!

Managed to get a spare moment on here to read my emails and write this blog post (obviously lol). I was planning on getting the bus back to Edinburgh on saturday morning, meaning I would be back at my place and in SL that evening. However, a bunch of friends are off to the cinema saturday afternoon/evening to celebrate a birthday or something, so I figured I had better go along. Meaning that I will be returning to Scotland on sunday the 30th.

Oh, and please don't IM me before then - I get them into my email inbox and haven't received any for the past few days, meaning they will have been capped. So drop me a note or email me if it is urgent :)

I hope you all had a fantastic christmas and I look forward to welcoming in the new year with you guys :D

See you soon!

Esmie xXx

Saturday, 22 December 2007

Get ready to Part-ay! xD

[17:52] You: i think everyone will leave after 5 mins at the party anyways cos of the lag
[17:52] You: and by leave i mean crash

Nicholai crashed 30 seconds after I said this. We were arranging the last sprig of mistletoe in the dance hall. Yes, there is alot of it *lol*

We've decorated the place perfect, it's all ready for the party now. I tried to get invites out to everyone I could manage, and I know quite a few people are unable to make it, cos of various things. If you wanna turn up at the last minute, I think there will be some space, the main requirements are: You and your date wear red and/or white formal attire, and you must have a date, or at least someone to dance with. If you meet those requirements, and after 2pm SL time on saturday you have nothing better to do, why not IM me and I can get you to the hottest xmas party in SL :D

Tomorrow is the last time I will be on for a week, so I hope to see as many of you then as possible. This is my last blog post until I am safely in London and can find a few spare minutes to let you all know how I am.

If I don't see you before, have a wonderful, safe and happy christmas and holidays, wherever you are and whoever you are with.

Esmie xXx

Friday, 21 December 2007

For You Guys :)

Merry Christmas from Esmiel and Nicholai

Hope you all have a great one :D

Esmie xXx

Thursday, 20 December 2007


Narcissus was a handsome Greek youth who, for some reason, rejected the advances of a nymph, only to end up falling in love with his own reflection - of course, being just an image on the surface of a pond, this lover wouldn't put out - and Narcissus eventually pined away and turned into a flower that bares his name.

I once - a very, very long time ago - heard someone describe me as narcissistic, in SL and I can see why someone would say that. I mean, I know I am attractive and I know guys want me, because they tell me. This leads to the building of an ego and then it starts to get a bit crazy and you love yourself. Sexually attracted to your own image. Now, in RL, that is dangerous and there is a mental disorder associated with it. However, in SL... we are designed and made to either purposefully to attract others, or as a reflection of our creator's ideal. Now for me, I was made as something my creator would enjoy looking at, just as much as everyone else would. I think he succeeded.. I can't stop zooming and spinning the camera around myself, admiring the well toned body, the smooth curves and the expertly chosen skin and tattoos, piercings and hair that all go into making me.

Yeah, I'm a sick freak. However, a creator in love with his creation is not such a bad thing - it means he will take care of me and ensure I never make myself look ugly or stupid - I get a clean change of clothes six times a day and now, every self-absorbed egoist's dream has come true for me; I'm a model. Here I am in the gallery at H & W. I don't think I need to point out which one is me, do I?

Well, I would be a narcissist if I said I was the most attractive there.. I'm not. I can admit that. However, being a model gives you a whole new opportunity to look at yourself. You have to love yourself to be able to stand up there and believe people look at you, to imagine yourself desirable, you have to find yourself desirable, to be sexy, you have to know you are sexy. But, you don't have to believe you are the sexiest, the most desirable... a little modesty matters and I hope I have some - I love to show off, but I have never claimed to be the hottest guy around, and I know I never will be. What I'm saying might just be blindingly obvious to you guys, but for me its a big deal.

I love myself, sure - like, if you can't love yourself, what chance have you got loving anyone else? But I am not in love with myself. That would be silly.

Sooo.. what I think I am trying to say is: Hopefully you wont see an Esmiel flower around anytime soon.

Esmie xXx

Wednesday, 19 December 2007


Yay.. a grid shut down.. because of this stupid recurring problem with the asset servers. About time they fixed it - I mean, today is the penultimate day the CNDG build team will be working on the project - it is supposed to be finished by tomorrow, and now they can't do their work cos of these bitchy servers. Not that I was working on the project at the time of the shut down.. Nicholai and I were busy elsewhere and so that is why I am extra angry this time *lol* .. it was just getting good too :/

Anyways, I spose it gives me a chance to do some RL things for once.. like showering and eating.

I see Elves are winning at the moment, with tentacle monsters coming in a surprise second. Yay for slime!

As Christmas draws ever nearer, I realise I haven't quite managed to get presents for everyone - SL and RL - but, hopefully, me saying I love them is just as good as any gift ^^;
I should also mention that after saturday night (after the party) I will not be on again for about a week (at the most) - so I will be spending christmas in RL. Not that this is a bad thing - but I wont even have a chance to get into SL to see my loved ones and friends on christmas day - and I know that is the time when at least one of them will be needing me most... :(

Esmie xXx

Tuesday, 18 December 2007

Poll 4.

Round 2 of our What's Sexiest? competition. This time, we have some more extreme choices, and 'What's sexiest?' means "What would you most want to have sex with?" *lol*

This time around we have:

Mermen - Handsome warriors of the sea with long, flowing locks, powerful arms, broad chests and the tails of fish for legs - which unfortunately means no human genitals... Still, could be worse eh?

Elves - Wood or High Elves, Like Legolas in Lord of the Rings, played by Orlando Bloom - oh, these already won then... *rolls eyes*

Tentacle Monsters - Bit of an odd one this, but I know many people like the idea of big, wriggling, slimy tentacles, pumping every orifice on their body full of sweet monster goo...

Nezumi - Like a neko, but with mouse parts - ears and tail - instead of cat... generally more submissive and smaller than their feline-type cousins.

Usagi - Like a neko, but with rabbit parts instead of cat. Like playboy bunnies, but the ears are warm and the tail wiggles without the hips moving.

Dark Elves/Drow - Elves' somewhat more evil cousins, these guys have skin ranging from black through purple to pale blue. They live underground - yay dungeons! - and are generally a bit sneakier and more dangerous than their woodland counterparts. But still sexy.

Centaurs - a bit like the merman, this one - horse body instead of fish tail - but with one big difference. He definitely does have genitalia. One for size queens only I feel :)

Fauns/Satyrs - like Mr. Tumnas in The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. Top half human, lower half deer. Cute little guys, mostly, with horns protruding from their foreheads. They play panpipes very well.

So, those are your options... Happy voting!

Esmie xXx

Monday, 17 December 2007

The Results of Poll 3

Well... the greatest, longest standing question in philosophy and religion and all that stuff has been answered, and the results are almost as I expected. Let me explain the options you had:

Question: Is there a God?
- 'God' with a capital G is the dude in the bible who created the world in seven days and created man in his image and then made women out of his rib or whatever it was. If you believe in this God, then you also believe in the Devil and Heaven and Hell and all those stories.

1. Yes of Course - you are a Theist
- This means, yes, there is a God with a capital G and he is omnipotent, omnipresent and omnibenevolent. The Biblical God. This received 6/19 votes or 31%
[Edit: Ok, you can take this option without believing in all the stories, and the God you believe in is the Christian one - just that not all parts of the bible are taken literally - sorry !!! >_<]

2. No, its Impossible - Atheist
- You should have chosen this one if you dont believe in God, the Devil, Heaven, Hell, anything the Bible says, or indeed, anything that any religion says. 1/19 votes or 5%

3. Maybe - Agnostic
-You haven't made up your mind yet. You are waiting for more evidence to decide either way, and you don't feel the need to pick a side. 1/19 votes or 5%

4. Not in the Biblical style
-Perhaps you believe in a god, or gods, without a capital G - or a heaven and hell that are not the same as the ones portrayed by the bible. Perhaps you believe in some other guiding force or ideal or reincarnation. Or maybe you are a scientologist. This got 10/19 votes or 52%

5. Does it Matter?
-I did wonder if anyone would actually pick this, because in the end, does the fact that God may or may not exist actually make any difference to anything we do, or the result of our work and time here on Earth? 1/19 votes or 5%

Guess you all want to know what I chose - well it was option 4; you may have been able to tell by the tone of this piece that I am skeptical about the possibility an all-seeing, all-knowing and all-good being can exist. However, I believe in something else - and the only real term for this is a 'god' - I believe that the world itself is our god - it gave us life, it feeds us, it protects us, it can destroy us in an instant - and through all things on this Earth flows a kind of energy, an eternal spirit that keeps us close and bonded as one living, feeling, breathing unit.

We are animals - different from other animals, but still, we are not special, our existance is based on chance - we got lucky that various genes came together this way, proved to work, allowed us to survive and now here we are - in the position of most powerful and dangerous species in the world. Some might say thats because God put us in this position. I say prove it. It could just as well be aliens that dropped us here, or a big space portal leading to a distant corner of the Universe that the first people fell through, hundreds, thousands, millions of years ago or whatever.

I also believe that when we die, we go back into the earth that created us, our atoms and molecules joining with new particles, and we become new things - reincarnation of a sort - the plastic that makes up your milk bottle was once atoms that could have been part of a person, or part of a star or part of anything imaginable. As for your conscious, your spirit, your energy - what you think makes you human and special, what allows you to love and be happy or sad, or angry - that departs to your own paradise - not a Heaven, where the angels and good people hang out - but your own, eternally peaceful idea, where you are happy, able to do as you please and are always contented. Of course, if you think you are going to Hell when you die, then your idea of the afterlife might not turn out to be so rosy when you get there - your own personal hell.

Well thats my belief - sorry for being so deep there but this is quite a serious subject - I dont know if there is a religion out there for people who share my beliefs - maybe I should start a cult or something *lol*.

Now, I know Osayo has been dying to get his teeth into this debate, but to start things off, it can be clearly seen that most people do not believe in a capital G 'God' - some do, most don't - some don't really even care or haven't thought about it. So, explain your choices guys.. tell me what you do/do not believe in and why you believe so.

I will not tolerate any criticisms of religion or hurtful comments directed against members of a particular faith - I know most of you will never consider saying such things, but it is all too easy to tun a 'does God exist' debate into a 'all religions are evil and God is bullshit' statement - so please dont - the issue here is your own personal beliefs, not to attack those of others.

Esmie xXx

Sunday, 16 December 2007

Petition To Increase the Number of Allowed Groups

From 25 to 50! Started by a bunch of DJ's, proving they are useful for something other than ruining parties with dreary music and muffled song introductions.

Read and Sign Here!

Seriously, who wouldn't want to have the choice to be allowed into more groups - I have had to delete several off my list recently because my friends are starting up business ventures or whatever or are getting involved in more and more things as their SL develops, and want to get me to be a part of it. I'm only number 112 on the petition, but I think every resident would sign it given the knowledge that it exists, so spread the word! We want more groups!

Esmie xXx


Well, the show went about as well as could be hoped for, that is, fucking brilliant. It felt so good to stand up there, everyone's eyes on me, I felt like a real star and it kicked ass. Even though my friends kept IMing me, and they were shouting n stuff lol - it was distracting but I really enjoy being the centre of attention, it doesn't happen often to me in RL.

I gotta say thanks to Sebastiaan, cos without his careful and friendly guidance, I wouldn't have been able to do it, as well as thanks to the owners and the other models for being such great guys and making the experience so fun.

I think that will be the last underwear/speedo show that I do, tho - Nicholai didn't like the thought of all those guys staring at me, and he afterwards explained how he wanted to keep 'me in my underwear' something special that just he gets all to himself. Which is fine by me and I understand it - I probably wouldn't like to sit there while a big bunch of guys made naughty comments about him. So - I will be doing shows that involve real clothes in future - just nothing too revealing. He also asked that any pics of me from the event be destroyed or all given to him, which I can't see happening easily - altho I didn't hear a camera once. So yeah, I dunno. But we sorted out the problems and had some rough sex to make us both feel better =)

Esmie xXx

Saturday, 15 December 2007

Fashion Show

Ok well here I am, with 25 minutes before the first people start showing up at Fashion House, and Nicholai has dragged me off to Naughty to check for new men's hair *lol* it is a crazy situation.

I am so nervous about the show, despite knowing exactly what I have to do and having practiced several times. I worry most about crashing, but we have a great contingency plan in place for that. The other models are so much fun and the owners - Eddi and Javier - run a nice tight ship that has room for a joke and fun, which I love.. working with these guys is great, even if they are mostly over-muscled steroid guzzlers *lol* they are awesome fun.

It starts at noon SL time and goes on until 2pm.. here is the SLURL :)

H & W Fashion House

Its gonna be awesome, and you get to see me wearing speedos and thongs so dont miss it :P

Esmie xXx

Friday, 14 December 2007

Esmiel the Merman

Well some of you may have seen me flopping about the beach recently or floating in my own aquarium - don't tap the glass please guys, it really pisses me off - but of course, the natural home for any merperson is the open sea. I've become so used to having a fish tail for legs that walking around seems almost wierd now, although I can transform from time to time if things like fashion shows and poses require it. Anyways, my original idea for a sim build with CNDG was going to be an advanced urban metropolis, that spread vertically rather than horizontally - only perhaps 30 or 40% of the sim plan area would be used, but it would stretch hundreds of feet into the air.

My plan has changed. How does an underwater city sound? Like Atlantis, but there are already a few of those dotted about and they aren't exactly immersive or authentic feeling. So how a bout a full sim of underwater buildings - some ancient ruined, flooded human dwellings as well as some newer Merpeople buildings - how exactly these will look is up for debate, but I imagine stone columns, huge temples and smaller homes made from hollowed-out balls of kelp and plants, as well as caves and shipwrecks, and all manner of wierd under sea crap.

Hmm I think it will work, and I also think it will be awesome. Who knows, maybe both my ideas will be used :)



Esmie xXx

Wednesday, 12 December 2007

I'm writing a Story...

Yes, indeed I am. A short fantasy, basically set in a world similar to the ones found in Lord Of The Rings, Dungeons and Dragons, Warcraft, Elder Scrolls etc. But it focuses, for the first part anyways, on a boy named Aeren, with pale blue eyes and blue-black hair, and so far I have written about 2 and a half pages just about his life from the age of 9 to 11 *lol* but things are going to be sped up a bit until he is 16 - because that is how old he is when he meets the 15 year-old Rihann, with his almond-shaped deep green eyes and fine silky golden hair...

Cos its a love story!

Its a little different for me, this time I have to totally create and flesh out characters, give them a detailed history and describe their world - the village, the distant city of the Emperor, the twin suns that heat their similar-yet-oh-so-slightly-different-to-our-own planet. I have even drawn a little map to help me figure things out... and I have absolutely no idea where this story is going to take the two boys. None at all, I have a beginning in my mind and on paper, I have an idea about the middle... as for the end - who knows.

I will not be posting this story on the blog, because it is far too good and long for that. What I will do, however, is send it to you by email, if you ask for it - when it is done - or perhaps even mail you a copy of the book if it gets published =P

However, I think I might have to do a few short stories to make it book-worthy. Although this could turn out to be 20 A4-sized pages long, that isnt enough for a book, and I will possibly do some other 'gay-interest' love stories to accompany it. Don't expect anything to be finished for months tho - this is a long term ongoing project that requires long breaks when my brain starts to dry up :)

Esmie xXx

Monday, 10 December 2007

Party Details

Ok well we've figured out that the 22nd of December - a saturday - is the best day and that the best time will be about 2pm SL time.

Now, we want this to be ballroom-style slowdancing. For that, everyone needs a partner to dance with. So make sure you bring someone if you get invited :) There's room for maybe 10 couples so.. errm.. my friends list of 130 is gonna be mostly full of pissed off people :( wish there was another way to do this. But I am gonna invite as many people as I can, and if we run out of dances and space then we'll find a way to manage :)
Please feel free to bring along your own slowdance, ballroom or tango balls :)
There will be a big fast dance ball incase we are left with a few odd people with no partners. Hopefully you'll all know each other and be able to pair up :)

Will be sending out invites this week so look out for them!

Esmie xXx

Sunday, 9 December 2007

The Results of Poll Number 2

Well well well. Looks like the humans trounced the opposition. Seems like horns, tails, wings, and furry ears really aren't that popular! Who knew?!

The results, in order:

1. Humans - 13, 59%
2. Nekos - 4, 18%
=3. Angels - 2, 9%
=3. Faeries - 2, 9%
5. Demons - 1, 4%
6. Furries - 0,0%

Well I was expecting Nekos to do a little better. You know which one I voted for? Demons!
Cos I find dark, mysterious power and the idea of being corrupted and used quite sexy. Well, very sexy actually. Plus, they all have foot-long tongues - whats not to love?

Ok so there you are, I admitted that. Now, I wanna hear you guys give your reasons/excuses for your choices! Convince me that Humans are indeed the sexiest, or else I shall have to pick a mythical being as the winner out of spite for all you human-lovers!

The next poll is a bit more serious and could open us up to some serious philosophical debate. Is there a God? There are more than just Yes or No options here tho - check it out and give your honest feelings :)

Esmie xXx

Busy day

Well I got the email to in-world message crossover thing set up. It works amazingly well - just edit a note into groups of avs (using their UUIDs) and send an email to the gateway box with the group name as the subject - the message gets delivered to everyone in the group in that sexy in-world green script text. Currently collecting the UUIDs of each member of CNDG to put into the box :)

Nicholai and I went shopping for trees, decorations, dances - there is an amazing new v7 dance at Bits and Bobs! - and errrmm.. penises and nipples and butt plugs.

Sometimes something happens that really makes you feel so good and totally makes your day...

[11:47] Jo Beatty: esmiel your avis is beautiful
[11:47] You: aww thank you :)
[11:47] Nicholai Heita: o.o
[11:47] Jo Beatty: your welcome..such a pretty face

Its so good to be back, it feels like I was gone months, not just two days lol

Esmie xXx

Internet Problems


The internet connection for my ISP (Virgin Media) was cut over about half the city or something over the past few days. I had no way of checking email or logging into SL or anything. Fucking pissed me off so much - and its taken this long to get it back, and it still doesn't work on one of the pc's cos somehow the frickin thing's network card got reset so I am not in a very good mood. My rl bf also left saturday morning to go down to London and it will be a couple of weeks before I see him again, and although my roomie is amazing company and a fab guy to be around, I was desperately worried about not getting into SL and being all lonely n shit. I fucking missed you all so much.... And now I have to download a fucking update before I can get on!! Aaaarghhhhhhhhh hurry you bastard!

Oh yes, by the way. My exams were a total nightmare and I think I might have failed them all, meaning I may possibly have to drop out of this year and then retake it. Yay!

Esmie xXx

Wednesday, 5 December 2007


Holy shit it got deep quickly...

Its Christmas.. Almost...

...and yes, that is our house :)

Other developments recently...

I have a new job at CNDG, I work for Aprikat as her assistant. Basically I help her out with stuff and also work on various side projects for the team, like finding a suitable rl/sl crossover communications thing. I love working with the team so much and I am so glad they didn't kick me out when I revealed my lack of desire to build on these projects and then also revealed I was pretty useless at alot of other stuff. Lucky they love me :)

Here is my boss, friend, almost aunty/mom type figure - (she is Gabe's SL mom), Aprikat Wildcat:


There are other things going on too, but thats all you get for now :)

Esmie xXx

Party Time!

Nicholai suggested the idea of a christmas party at our place and of course, its a fabulous way to kick off the holiday season.

So, we are making up some invitations for distributing in-world. Look out for those soon. However, I figured it best to announce it here as well, earlier so that I can get some opinions on one or two things.

Its going to be ballroom-style dancing and the theme is formal red and white. So that means suits and tuxes for the guys... and ball gowns and various other huge, flamboyant dresses for the ladies... or guys too, cos Nicholai will be dressing up in his gorgeous outfit I bought for him. It was ehhhmmm.. a little expensive *looks sadly at his empty wallet* but he looks amazing so it was well worth it.

So, yeah, white suits, red suits, red and white suits, red dresses, white dresses, red and white dresses are required. I've iced over the pool so we can use that as a big dance floor :D

As for the date and time, I'm thinking 20th december. Time.. well, we have alot of friends from all over the world who I want to give the chance to make it to the party. Time zones are such a bitch. So, I was thinking maybe 2 pm SL time. Thats 10pm UK time, 5pm East Coast US and ummm... 7am in Australia on the 21st. I can't think of any other time that allows as many people to come... any suggestions are welcome ;)

Esmie xXx

Tuesday, 4 December 2007

My Life for the past 8 weeks.

What am I on about? Well I figured I'd let you take a little look at some of the stuff I've been studying recently, and attempt to explain it, thereby furthering my own understanding and aiding my memorisation of certain aspects. Here are some choice morsels from this term :)

Maths - I've already done this exam, but hey, easiest thing first to warm you up :)

This involved, amongst other mind-bendingly boring things:

Vectors - integration; differentiation; Divergence, Stokes' and Greens' Theorems; Div, Grad and Curl of a line. Parametrisation of a line and plane.

It would all have been alot simpler if the lecturer wasn't such a total jerk and didn't do stupid things like change the questions to fit the (originally) wrong answer he got from it. Here is a typical question - one of the rare ones I can actually comprehend and do right - from one of the middle sections of the course.

(I should point out the vector field
f is not used for this part of the question).

This basically wants us to find the curl of the gradient of a field (the field is represented by 'phi' - the little circle with a line through it) given by a set of co-ordinates in 3D space. The space is divided by three axes with labels x, y and z. A vector of magnitude (length) one unit (A unit vector) along these axes is labelled i, j or k respective of axis - i for x, j for y, k for z.

What we now do is use a formula for gradient to get a new set of co-ordinates - this was given to us at an earlier stage. The formula states that (x,y,z) co-ordinates in the 'phi' scalar field become (d(phi)/dx, d(phi)/dy, d(phi)/dz) where d(phi)/dx is the derivative of the function 'phi' with respect to x. That gives us the bottom line of the matrix (the box thing with 3 rows and 3 columns) in the answer below. The top row is made up of the i, j and k unit vectors mentioned above. Dont ask me why, thats just what it is, and it works so go along with it.

The middle row of that matrix is made up of a further derivative (one for each axis) which is put there because thats what the formula for curl tells us to do.

We must find the determinant of this matrix, and that will give us the values of the curl of the gradient of the scalar field 'phi' in each axis. As you can clearly see, all that you do is multiply it out.. so for the i vector direction (along the x-axis) we take the derivative (with respect to the y axis) of the derivative of 'phi' with respect to the z-axis ((d^2(phi))/(dydz)) and away from that we take the derivative (with respect to z) of the derivative of 'phi' with respect to the y-axis ((d^2(phi))/(dzdy)). Essentially, they are both exactly the same thing and subtracting one from the other leaves you with 0. (You subtract them because that is what you do when finding the determinant *lol*). This 0 is the value of the curl of the gradient of the field along the x-axis. Repeat the steps for the j and k unit vectors (y- and z-axes) and you find they cancel each other out, due to the wierd way one turns out to be a negative and the other positive.

Hence, the answer is (0,0,0) and will always be that, regardless of the actual values of any of the vectors or co-ordinates.

That question would take me about 5 minutes to do in an exam, and I just spent about 30 writing it out for you there, I hope you appreciate that *lol*

Ok, next (and the last for now) is...


We had two lecturers for this... the first guy was a fat oaf and the second one was actually a brilliant guy who teaches well, and I understood his section much more easily. This is taken from the fat oaf's part.

He didn't explain what a dielectric actually is and then gave us this set of formulae. Its not a question, I just wanna show you the kinda range of symbols, variables and equations we work with.

I can see how the maths works, I can work through it and get the correct result... but I actually have no idea what its really talking about. Yay :)

Don't do physics at university, kids! There are no lasers, no explosions, no spaceships and definitely no young, sexy lecturers. Just loads and loads and loads of that stuff above. Its not even interesting anymore, I dont really know why I bother *lol*

Esmie xXx

Poll 2 So Far

Early results suggest the Human team has taken a clear lead. I guess tails, wings and fluffy ears aren't everyone's idea of hotness. I'm surprised nekos aren't way out in front, however I hope they will be clawing their way back to the top soon.. altho they are not the ones I voted for ;)

I had a feeling Furries would be in last. I should have put in vampires, but never mind.. I'll be thinking up more stupidly crazy 'sexiest' contests pretty soon. Demons and Angels lag far behind with the faeries. Maybe people dont know what a faerie is? Like a pixie or sprite or nymph - honestly I find them quite sexy (as long as they arent Thumbelina-sized.. that would be wierd).. the silky, colourful wings and pale skin, pointy ears and lush, glistening hair. Yum :)

Of course, there is still plenty of time to vote and change the outcome. Once the poll has closed, I will make a post about my choice and why I chose it... I shall also be expecting at least half of the voters from this time to explain their choice, because if you can't give me a good reason or justification why your chosen being should win, I will pick the overall winner all by myself :P

Esmie xXx

Sunday, 2 December 2007

Poll Number 1 Results

So it seems like 'some' gay people live up to their stereotype intentionally (100% of the vote). I'm talking things like 'oh I'll wear pink because its a gay colour' or 'I hate Madonna but I'll listen to her shit because all the other gay guys do'. Not a surprising result, to be honest, because obviously there will always be 'some' guys who do it. I know many gay men actually like the colour pink and Madonna, and also that many gay men hate those things. But has anyone ever 'liked' them just because its the 'gay' thing to do? I bet a few people have, and of course, there are many other examples such as over acting your effeminateness or taking certain drugs or whatever that are popular on the gay scene.

Of course, stereotypes are a bad thing, and are most often untrue - until that is, someone in the stereotyped group decides to make it true, because he/she believes that it is the way they should be, in order to fit into that group.

So what can we do about it? Discouraging stereotypes is impossible when people try to make them a reality, and when so many people have so many prejudices.

Therefore the answer is, not alot - except realise it is more important to be unique and to be yourself than it is to fit in with any ideal or scene, and passing this message on to others is the only way to change the way gay people are stereotyped and the way some of us live up to it.

The next poll is a little more fun ;)

Esmie xXx