Thursday, 31 May 2007

Fucking Linden

'Unable to connect to Second Life.
DNS could not verify the host name.
Please verify that you can connect to the www.secondlife. com
web site. If you can, but continue to recieve this error,
please go to the support section and report this problem.'

Mind giving me a hint at what to do if I CAN'T connect to We aren't all smart assed computer nerds you know. What is a DNS anyway?

Linden Labs. If only somebody else could do their job for them, they'd be out so fast the door wouldnt even be closed before they got in the taxi.

Esmie xXx

Is my name Stu Bied? Didn't think so.

Someone has been using my email address (I have it in my in-world profile) to sign me up for various junk email things, including stuff about STD cures. This is a reply to an email apparently sent from my account. The original email is at the bottom, under 'Order Number':

Many thanks for your email.

Please be assured the details of your query have been
recorded,and our customer care team will aim to respond
within 2 working days.

Alternatively why not visit the "my aria" section of
our website where you'll find solutions to a wide
variety of queries ranging from order and delivery
issues, to returns and warranty enquiries.

Kind regards
Aria Customer Care Team

Order Number:
how much u sell me a pc?
Stu Bied
'Stu Bied', huh? 'Ima Dombash' is another one thats been used. Now, this is not funny, or clever. Whoever it is, if you're reading this, stop being so fucking pathetic and childish. You're a moron - either grow up or go back to eating the worms in your garden.

I know it was none of my friends, so I'm not accusing any of you. I just had to get this off my chest. If you know me, you also know I'm a poor student, living on nothing more than a basic student loan and a small allowance from my parents, which just about covers food, rent and bills in total. To buy a PC would require me to either give up my home for a few months or stop eating for a year. People have said they would be willing to help me out, but I am not sure whether to accept because I have no way to pay them back, and it is not easy accepting gifts like that.

My RL bf suggested putting a Donate button here on my blog, to my Paypal account. I'm really not sure about it... I was wondering what you guys thought about it.

Esmie xXx

Wednesday, 30 May 2007

Mission Beach

Its a whole sim, just for us Beach Bums! I'm gonna try and give you a quick tour via this blog, but there is a whole lot of other stuff I havent seen or shown here. You really need to go see it for yourself, the Missions and Rasmus (and maybe some others) have put so much work in and its all so beautiful.

The main gathering spot. A roaring fire surrounded by five logs, with a total of 18 seats and 9 stumps surrounding them. The fire pit has always been the centre of the 'Bums' activities and I'm glad it was brought onto this beach too. This is the main beach area, complete with hot tub, bar (with Adamo the Barman who is exceptionally annoying), water toys like surf boards and a tiki dance floor.
North of the fire pit is the dock, where Salty Ras' Bait and Tackle resides, as well as a number of boats belonging to various 'Bums.
To the North East of the dock lies the big rock pile, which hides a beautiful cave inside, with access via land and under the waterline. Surrounded by fish, sharks and a boat wreck.
The Tidal Wave club, East of the rocks is always empty as far as I can tell. Maybe nobody knows it exists.
A little further East of the club is the small pile of rocks with some nice sitting poseballs, ideally placed to watch a sunrise over the hills of the neighbouring sim, Sparta.
South of the small pile of rocks, on the East shore, lies this little cove which is nice and secluded. Has a nice bench and some neat poses. Nearby is a hammock and a picnic spot.

The Build area takes up almost a full quarter of the sim and lies to the South of the cove. It provides a safe place for the 'Bums to practice their building skills and it is where I love to watch my kitten construct the prim accessories for his shop.

Just to the South of the fire pit is the Beach Bums thrift store, where there are a few fun items for sale, created by the Missions themselves and other stuff by Particle Whore (10KHz Tone (the 'Bum's resident script and particle genius)'s store. Worth checking out, its all nice and cheap too.

So.. maybe I will show you some of the more secret and hidden areas another time. Or maybe I won't because exploring is half the fun of it!

Esmie xXx

Sunday, 27 May 2007

Why My RL makes enjoying my SL so freakin' difficult

I imagine its mostly because I don't own a computer. My (Esmiel's) existance relies entirely on the kindness of my RL flatmate and boy friend in giving me time on their machines. The problem is, they are both Computer Science Undergrads so they pretty much live on their computers. Even getting an hour a day can be difficult, and its even harder to stand when you're desperate to get on to see the kitten you love.

I do try my best but sometimes it can be days before I get a chance to come on SL... and every single minute I'm away, it makes me angry and upset that I can't be in-world doing something worth while, being with people I love and enjoying myself because my flatmate wants to watch an episode of Family Guy online he's already seen twice.

Hopefully I can sort myself out a computer when my flatmate moves out, at which point I'm gonna be relying totally on my BF's one. Otherwise I might have to give up SL altogether, and that would be unthinkable.

Esmie xXx

Saturday, 26 May 2007

From the Sky to the Sea floor

There is nothing better than spending the day with the person you love. Except maybe spending every day with them, forever. You get my point. Had so much fun yesterday with my kitten. We were looking for shop spaces he could rent for his new store when we decided to go and check out Abbotts Aerodrome... and do some skydiving!

It was amazing fun, taking the lift up to 4,000m before being thrown off and attempting to land in the target on the platform. Sometimes the parachute didn't open, and we hit the platform at a very high velocity, with a big crunch, more than once. But thats what SL is all about. You don't die! So we just got up and did it again, and again.

At the Aerodorme, they have a submarine base, inside which was a free 2-seater submarine, which I promptly snapped up. We went to Mission Beach in order to explore the coast from below the waves, and look at all the amazing things Rasmus had hidden on the sea floor. The sub was far from perfect, requiring alot of cursing and kicking to get it to submerge, but once down there, it was beautiful. We ended up inside the cave with the secret underwater entrance where we left the sub floating and made love sitting on the rock shelf above the waterline. It was such a beautiful moment.

After, we continued our journey along the sea bed and discovered the octopus and his treasure. I shot the octopus, rescued Nicho from his grasp and grabbed the loot, just in time to get off at 3am for bed.

Skydiving! The last 500m happens alot quicker than you think...

Nicho and I discuss what to do with the treasure. Yes, we were naked.

Esmie xXx

P.S. - To Eko the robot dude who tried being a prick at the Aerodrome - "Fuck You, Bionicle Bitch!" :D

Friday, 25 May 2007

Captain Axl and His Salty Crew

"Captain Axl's Salty Crew" was formed today and I was instantly promoted to First Mate! We have a fleet of boats, all owned by Axl Schridde, who is our Captain. His hands are firm but fair.

Crew Members so far include:
Axl - - - - Capitaine
Esmiel - - -First Mate
Nicholai - - First Mate's Mate
Jaspar - - -Cabin Boy
Johnnifer - Grog Wench
Sydney - - Scurvy Cur

Had lots of fun out on the waves today, and spent ages looking for a decent pirate outfit for Nicho... I think I found him the perfect one at Bare Rose. What do you think?

Captain Axl at the helm!

Axl's flagship... I forgot the name!

Me and Nicho control the ropey bits!

My Kitten in his pirate outfit. How effing sexy is he???!!!

See you soon, land lubbers!
Esmie xXx

Just a Quickie

Wow, some people are actually commenting on my posts.. thanks guys! If you have any suggestions or ideas how I could improve the blog, or if there's something you think I should include, feel free to comment or to email me.

Still trying to work out who to do next in my friends series of posts... In the mean time, here's a pic of me I took a while ago, enjoying some quiet time on an island in Palm Beach, the sim next to where Boots Beach used to be. Oh! Maybe I should do a tour of the new Mission Beach sim on my blog...

Esmie xXx

Thursday, 24 May 2007

Gabe Semyorka

Here it is, finally. The first of my posts on my nearest and dearest.

Perhaps the sweetest, most caring and romantic guy in SL, if not the entire universe, Gabe is very special to me. I met him early on in my time in SL, when I first found Boots Beach and we became close friends. He suggested I get with a friend of his, Micah Michigana. I was hesitant, but willing to try anything. After a week or so he told me he didn't actually want me to get with Micah... Gabe had fallen in love with me, his best friend at the time, and asked if I loved him. I said I did, and it was true. I loved him alot and wanted to be with him.

For a couple of weeks, it was amazing. Gabe found us a house and we spent all the time we could in each other's arms, kissing and being together. However, I was still new to SL. I hadn't worked out the consequences an SL relationship has on an RL one. I couldn't contain my love for Gabe, and, worried it would hurt my RL partner, I decided to end it with Gabe. It tore my heart into pieces, it hurt so much, but I felt I had to do it before I got too into my love in SL and my RL lost out. I did it to protect me, my RL partner and Gabe, because the longer I left it, the closer we got and the harder it would be for him when I let him go.

However much it hurt me to do it, I can't even imagine how Gabe must have felt when I told him. I was so worried about what I had done, if he would ever be alright again. Luckily, some people were there to help him pick up the pieces. Makara, now Gabe's adopted brother - a truly wonderful guy (even if he is straight/bi/whatever :P)... and, of course, Micah was there too. If you go on over to Gabe's blog (check out the links to the right) its kinda obvious how things turned out. I am so so happy Gabe is still my friend, after what I put him through. He has been there for me when I needed him most and I love him for it.

Esmie xXx

Wednesday, 23 May 2007

No, This Is A French Opera House!

This was a few weeks ago too... Sergio (he's a very fun, crazy guy) showed Upo and me around a 19th century French opera house, recreated lovingly with some amazing details. I recently came back here for a fun date with Nicho and ended up buying him a *huge* diamond ring. The pictures are also *huge*, hope you don't mind, but it really is worth looking at them in detail.

The chandelier is most impressive!

Look at that detail! All those seats!

Upo and I look like miserable kids on a dreadful school trip, but really, it is great! I should have got a pic of the entrance hall too... but you can't have everything, right?

Esmie xXx

[I would have put up the post about Gabe today, but his picture is on another computer and it's all very messy. I promise I will do it tomorrow!]

This Is Sparta!

I FINALLY get a chance at spending some decent time on SL and the damn thing is down for maintenance. I suppose that's one advantage RL has over SL.. It never goes down for a scheduled update...

So... what am I gonna do...

Axl, Karl and Me got us some free Spartan costumes from the 300 sim in SL (a few weeks ago now). This outfit recently won me 500L at a best costume party! Which I spent in a day. Hang on a darn minute... I have a high-maintenance trophy bf now... I can't be spending all this money on myself! Aaarrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Me, Axl, Karl

Esmie xXx

(I love my kitten more than any trophy. I could never put a price on his sweet little head =^.^=)

Monday, 21 May 2007


I don't think the RL me has ever done this, but I reckon doing it in SL has the same significance. Sitting peacefully, lost in contemplation and thoughts. Admiring the beauty of surroundings while at the same time distancing yourself from them, receding deeper into your own mind. It feels good :)

This is me meditating, trusty Orb of Lights in hand, on the big pile of rocks in the NW corner of the Mission Beach sim as the sun rises.

Esmie xXx

Sunday, 20 May 2007


Well, its been a long, long time coming.

I first met Nicholai in the BlueBoy Club during late November/early December last year, where he came to dance with his master Reo. When Reo went away, I was lucky enough to be around to offer Nicho some *ahem* company until Reo returned.

Relaxing in Svarga

Slowly he told me the story of his life, was completely open about it and I knew he wasn't lying, even though some of it would have sounded incredible to some people. I realised he needed love and affection in order to live happily... needed someone to take care of him. In early 2007, he ran away from Gor, leaving his master and brothers behind. He came to me because I was the only non-Gorean he knew. Looking back on it, I realise I was an idiot to tell him I wasn't ready for something serious (having just split from my first SL bf), and he went back to Gor, entering service under a new Mistress. I saw him occaisionally, and helped him through his troubles (including some with his brother Drinkin, who later became Nicho's master, much to my surprise).

I knew Nicho wasn't happy, but there was nothing I could do for him whilst in a relationship with someone else. But... a couple of days after I split with Upo, Nicho came to me and told me some things. I told him some other things, and realised I was hopelessly in love with him, and had been ever since that night in BlueBoy when I first saw him. I'd just never had much hope for us because he liked having a master and I really wasn't one of those *smile*.

My kitten working it...

Regardless, Nicho left Drinkin (who acted like a complete child and really made himself look pathetic) and came to be with me. We've waited almost 6 months for this and now we have a chance to be something beautiful together. One thing I know for sure... I am never letting my kitten go again. He has me forever.

Me and Nicho dancing on the beach.

Esmie xXx

Saturday, 19 May 2007

6 Months

6 Months, 1/2 a year, 180 days (approx), 15552000 seconds (roughly). That's how long I've been in SL, and I haven't been bored once. Really. I love it here so, so much. All the people are wonderful and its always such fun. If nothing's happening, I can make something happen. I totally love it here and can't wait to see what my next six months will bring.

So Far:

I've spent about 65-75,000 L.
Had 3 serious relationships that ended amicably.
Collected about 70 friends.
Lived in 2 different houses, for short periods (neither of which I paid for!).
Been to 2 Weddings.
Been to 1 Memorial service.
Had sex with about 10 different people.
Bought about 150 hair pieces.
Been to Clubs, Jungles, Beaches, Heaven, Hell, Castles, Cities and Mountains.
Made at least one enemy, and pissed more than a few people off.

That about covers most of it. If you want to comment and suggest more stats for me to put out, feel free to do so.

Oh yeah, I'm in a relationship again now. Watch for my next post!

Esmie xXx

Wednesday, 16 May 2007


Went to a memorial service recently for a man named Sterling Hawks. I barely knew him, but I am a friend of his husbands so went to show my support and love for them. Sterling was 27 years old and died of MD. His death was not a shock to those that knew he was ill, but that does not numb the pain we all feel at having lost a great man. As my friend Zach said, however, he is not really gone. His spirit is still with us and he lives in our memories. He is in a better place, wherever that may be, and he is free from his pain and suffering. He will live on in us, and his love will never be forgotten.

Sterling's coffin.

Everybody standing for the U.S. national anthem at the end of the ceremony.

Me and Zach sitting in the third row, contemplating life, love and loss.

Esmie xXx

PS: Thanks for taking the time to read this. I love all of you. (Yep, even you)

My 30th Post..

Wow, 30 posts to this blog.. the longest I've ever kept one going! Just taking some time out from my computer lab in uni to make sure you all know I'm still alive, and feeling better and happier than I have done in a long time... Will explain all very soon.

Esmie xXx

Friday, 11 May 2007

Single Again...

The other night, Upo told me he didn't think it would work between us anymore and that it was unfair on us both to stay together - on me in particular. I agreed with what he said. Upo's priority has always been his acting career. He never looked or asked for a relationship and I always knew that. As he's gotten really busy and has now become a star, he knows it will never change. He will always be busy, and can't bear to leave me waiting around for him.
There is alot of love between us and nothing will ever change that.

I always knew that this could happen, although if Upo wasn't such a star *grin* we would have been happy together for a long time. I'm not gonna take his future away from him or hold him back, I would never want to do that. So, we remain very good friends who still share that special bond I've felt ever since I first met him.

After all that, I haven't lost anything. I'm still going to be hanging out at the beach, surrounded by all the people I love. Upo will still be acting, doing what he lives for and loves. We'll see each other just as much. I have the freedom to explore my life a little more. He'll always be special to me though.

The question is...

What do I do with myself now??

Esmie xXx

Wednesday, 9 May 2007

Friends and Chums and Pals and Buddies and Loved Ones.

Been a while overdue, this has... I'm going to be doing a posting for each of my friends, explaining what they mean to me, how I met them and why I love them so damn much... First up will be my first love, Gabe Semyorka, who is now one of my closest and dearest friends. Just waiting to get a picture of him before I publish the post.

Esmie xXx

[EDIT 16/05/07 - I promise I will be doing them soon, but distracting things keep happening]

Friday, 4 May 2007


Seems Matthew was unfaithful to my brother Andrew. I guess he has his reasons, but I'm surprised at him. Andrew has given up on men in SL... at least, as he says, 'Til he finds his next victim'.

I've run out of money again. Donations to 'Esmie's Clothes and Useless Crap Fund' are much appreciated.