Having Two Boyfriends

Nicholai was sposed to be in Japan but got ill with pneumonia and spent the week on the sofa. Poor little kitten :(

He's all better now though and after a short meeting before bed last night we got to spend some quality time together today... letting him get on with building and me write this *lol*


My rl bf - 'Alfie' - comes back from London tonight so I probably won't be on after 6pm... and maybe not at all sunday and I'll be on alot less than usual next week, for three reasons:

1. Alfie will want to spend some time with his PC, meaning I have to go back to the Xbox 360...
2. I'll be trying to cut my hours on SL per day even further as it's my last week of holidays before term.
3. Of course Alfie will want to spend time with me too, and I with him :)

The wierdest thing about having two boyfriends is being able to say "I love you" and mean it both times, to both people. Not like "I love you as a friend" but "I love you, I want to spend the rest of this life with you and nobody else". I feel awful alot of the time, because I want to be with them both, I love them both equally, I would do anything for either of them - except leave the other - but of course, in the end, if I had to choose, it would be Alfie, and it hurts me so so much to say that, because Nicholai deserves someone who doesn't have to split his time, who doesn't have to make any choice, who will always be there for him. But I do the best I can for now, in the hope that he'll have his own Alfie one day, and will be happy, because that's all I want for him.

Esmie xXx